Lead of Love

I’m learning that it’s in times of difficulty that God wants me to seek Him most.  I mean the times when I feel nothing, where everything I do feels pointless.  The times when everything I seem to believe and think about gets in the way of God and seems to come to no end.  The times when despite what I know, my feelings drag me down into a smaller, weaker perspective that causes me to question my view of Truth.  It is these times that I must proclaim the promises of God.  It is these times that I must cry out to what can feel like empty space, “God, you are still God!  God, you have a purpose for me!”  It is not the next wave of felt Truth that I must live on, seeking the next spiritual high or the next enlightened lesson.  It is parched and starved in the middle of a desert when I must seek Him relentlessly despite my surroundings.  The more I seek Him while despairing about anything, the more He can bring peace to a situation that even at its worst, is honest.  It is through these weaknesses that He can truly be seen for the perfect God He is.  It is in this forced lack of reliance on self that we begin to understand what it means to rely on a sovereign God.  Though our flesh and hearts may fail, He is the strength of our hearts and our portion forever.  Though we are struck down , we are not destroyed!  Though we are perplexed and often do not know where we are going in this temporary life, we are not in despair.  “Let the bones you have broken rejoice!”  “May you become greater, and I become less!”  “Thy will be done!” Do we ask, Father, will you save us from this hour?  No.  As a child of God you are here, in this hour, for a purpose.  “Father, glorify your name!” 

And when we do this, we zoom out a little on the map of our predestined, called out, justified lives and see that God’s given us more perspective through it, more wisdom, more discernment.  We see that He has been using us and feeding us because even though we felt next to nothing, we are rooted in Him.  By the grace we were saved by, we are also sustained.    

“Looking back You know You had to bring me through,
All that I was so afraid of,
Though I questioned the sky, now I see why.
Had to walk the rocks to see the mountain view,
Looking back I see the lead of love.”

-Caedmon’s Call, “Lead of Love”

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